Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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