we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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