I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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