The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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