If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Damn victory sex feels great
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize