i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize