I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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