I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
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He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
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Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize