this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize