"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize