now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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