what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize