I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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