theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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