Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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