can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
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this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
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You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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