You work out of a Hotel?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize