dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize