Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
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He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
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I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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