friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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