dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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