you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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