I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
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He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
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Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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