Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize