oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
This girl is more easily done than said...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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