What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
MIDGETS
????
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize