They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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