I hate your face
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
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I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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