if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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