He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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