I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
smell my finger.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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