maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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