Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
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On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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