the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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