tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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