Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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