I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize