You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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