I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize