Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
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I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
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I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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