I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize