what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize