omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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