We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
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