Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize