whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize