We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
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It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
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There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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