Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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