life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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