you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
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is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i've created a new STD.
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I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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