I'm laying in your front yard are you home
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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