I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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